If this weren't so true, it might be funny

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race. 

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. 

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. 

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing. 

Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. 

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. 

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. 

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. 

It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale-boosting programs and teamwork posters. 

The next year the Japanese won by two miles. 

Humiliated, the American management laid off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses. 

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India. 

Sadly, the End. 

Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages. 

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter's results: 

TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses. 

Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses... 

IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE, IT MIGHT BE FUNNY 

Look What I Found In My Brain!: Why I love grapefruit juice

Look What I Found In My Brain!: Why I love grapefruit juice

Bad news, good news and...just news

I thought I'd let you all know what's been going on. The results of my bloods came back and my glucose was 13.6 (target: 5-10), but more importantly my HBA1c was 11.4 (target: 5-10); this is a measurement of what my glucose has been doing over the last 3 months.

So, on Friday, I was told I was fucked dilapidated diabetic; type 2.

I have 3 months to reduce my BMI, or they start me on medication to manage my glucose and cholesterol. Overall, I have to reduce my weight by 1/3. The chart currently shows me as whale-like obese, and this, combined with my raised levels, place me well and truly in line for all sorts of nasty problems.

In light of this, Christmas is canceled Christmas is postponed until further notice Christmas is going ahead as planned pending further notice.

I still have an uncomfortably large hole in my back, which the surgery nurse recently found was not being packed fully, so she gets to really wedge it in there. It hurts like being buggered by an elephant on speed a lot, but is ultimately stopping the skin from healing over and getting infected again.

Anyway, so that's the health.

Our stuff gets delivered this Thursday. After relenting to the fact that there's no way around paying the £250+vat for one day of forced rectal invasion van rental, we agreed and set a date.

Right now, we just really want to get our stuff. It's a long time to be sleeping on a futon. We also miss our nice TV and blu-ray discs etc. (priorities).

Other news of which is, frankly, only interesting to me -

I managed to pick up an absolute bargain on a roof box and subsequently on some roof bars for the passion wagon Scenic. As a result, we're now fully 'touristified' and ready for any upcoming camping trips! Ashley's currently busy trying to locate suitable locations and accommodation for a mini-break we're trying to treat ourselves to; we'll keep our fingers crossed.

I'm not giving up on the summer just yet, and there's definitely potential for some BBQing in the next few days and/or weeks. I'd invite you all, but no one ever comes round, so I won't waste my breath ink pixels.

Riot has begun her vaccinations, which means we can (in theory) socialise her with other dogs. She's due back in another week to finish that course. She's finally stopped bleeding from the heat, so we can, after a few weeks/months, get her fixed; then we can finally start letting her run around free on the beach.

That's it for now; just an update. Bye for now

One year in, and the juice is still worth the sqeeze...

Today, August 24th 2008, marks the one year anniversary of mine and Ashley's marriage.

I have heard many people say "The first year is always the hardest". Well, if it's not too condescending for me to offer my child like opinion of marriage, allow me to offer this little gem to anyone thinking of entering this wondrous institution.

The first year isn't the hardest. It is at most, the most revealing. It is at least, the most interesting.

I have learnt about my partner, I have shared with her. I have felt her tears on my shoulder, I have been woken by her smile. I have argued; I have won, I have lost.

I have been her comforter, I have felt at peace in her arms. I have climbed mountains with her, I have moved mountains to be with her.

You see, this year has been hard; but not because of marriage. It is the marriage that has made the year bearable. In the midst of moving overseas, new jobs, new houses, new cars, new dogs, new bills, new meetings with bank managers, new plans; I don't how I would have done it by myself.

So I find myself one year on, sitting here, in a house I had bought before I'd even thought about going to America, let alone met Ashley; and yet, it had never been a home to me, that is the gift Ashley gives me, this year on our anniversary, and for the rest of our lives.

Ground control, we have made contact

I could start this post with several excuses as to why it's the first in some considerable time; however, we've just moved...from America...and it takes time, lost of it (it actually takes more almost as much time than it does money).
So, with that in mind, I don't feel compelled to offer any additional or more elaborate excuses.

For anyone who's interested, we are more often found on YouTube rather than Blogger.  This is in no means meant to show favouritism (after al, they're both Googletrons).

More so, it is just an 'ease of use' thing.  Shortly after arriving, we secured ourselves a couple of rather lovely LG Viewty handsets, with these having the ability to record at 120 fps (frames per second), and having rather sexy Schnelder lenses (boasting a 5.0 MP camera!), it's remarkably easy to simply point our phones at one another and record a quick video, which can then later be flung up to the YouTube channel.

Now really, it's mostly for us to goof around with, but if you, like I suspect many are, are starting to morn our leaving DFW, and want a little more of an intimate catch up, that's where we'll be.

I still have this outlet for my inane drivel; and I appreciate all your emails telling me just how pointless and wrong I often am; it is only in the prospect of annoying most of you, that I find my true happiness.

Which brings me nicely to something else I wanted to mention.  The pursuit of Happyness; Ashley and I watched it a couple of days ago (yes, I know we're way behind...did I mention the moving?).

We really liked it.  From what I've heard, it's actually not really that close

 to the true story which, while without doubt told of a man struggling to keep him and his child fed and sheltered, was actually much more depressing and less 'hollywood'.

If only one could get by on the $250 resell price of a bone density scanner...let alone the slightly more profitable narcotics trafficking.

So, I really wanted to just get back on here.  Say "hi" etc. etc.

With that done, I will leave you in peace.  Catch y'all later!

Ashley's Birthday

Today is a special day. It marks not only the 1 week countdown to our relocation, but more significantly, Ashley's Birthday.

Marked with the stresses one normally associates with moving (heightened by the fact that's an international move), the last few weeks have been difficult, but full of excitement, we continue to build the anticipation of moving to the United Kingdom, and this evening was a welcome distraction from it all as we celebrated Ashley's 22nd 23rd year of being just freakin' wonderful (yes, she was born wonderful, and somehow managed to get better each year).

Ashley's going to have to wait for most some of her gifts, but we managed to give her some special memories; not least of all, dinner with her Mom. A fine meal at Red Lobster (home of some rather fine popcorn shrimp, and a much loaded Bahama Mama). It was good to just chat, and talk about what we're all planning for the next few months, when we'll be able to get together again etc. etc.

Tears were held back, but some teary eyes were inevitable.

Anyway, tomorrow holds a busy and stressful day ahead as we try and cram our entire lives into 4 suitcases and work out what, out of the remainder, we want to ship home.

Wish us luck...it's the final stretch now!

My life, in a garage

Truthfully, it can be a little disconcerting, to see one's life, spread out, on tables, for "a-dollar-a-piece".

But, "you can't take it with you" after all, and that has both a literal and figurative meaning for us at the moment.

So, I'm sat out on my in-laws front porch, in a rocking chair; only in this picture, I'm armed with a MacBook rather than the slightly more traditional shut gun and chewin' tabacca.

As soon as we opened the garage door and rolled our the mobile clothes rail, two cars pulled into the drive way, no more than a few minutes had past, and 'rubber neckers' so desperate to see our stuff could take it no longer, they started to arrive.

First only a few, then a few more. Then it quietened down (hence the blog). We're expecting more, all of which we expect to not want to pay anything more than $1 for our most valued possessions (not that this means we'll actually take $1, but it won't change their expectations).

So, it's looking to be a scorcher of a day, both in a weather sense, and on profit (well, we're hoping at least (for the profit, not the weather)); so all-in-all, it should be a nice day to just hang out on the porch and watch the amazed expressions on people's faces as we reply "$10" as they enquire about that 'never-used, almost-new, excellent-condition' item.

I don't know what it is about garage/yard/moving sales (et al) that people feel the price should be so disgustingly low that the cash should be handed over with a side serving of guilt, but even though we've priced everything to sell, only too often do we hear "come on, there's another garage sale we can check out" as they scuff their feet out of our garage.

I'm not enjoying it to be honest, and I don't think anyone else it either. We were up until 2am this morning getting everything ready, and so I think everyone's nerves are a little shorter than perhaps they would normally be.

As a result, I have opted to stay out of everyone's way, and thus out of trouble's way, and sit on the porch and blog.

If you're in the area, feel free to pop in for some great bargains...bring more than a dollar.

Patronus Charm

It most likely does not surprise you to learn that I have discovered the secret to the international problem of high petrol prices the world over.

It was half way through a "Harry Potter" marathon, that Ashley and I got to "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"; the introduction of the 'Patronus Charm' has proven not only to be a turning point for Harry, but also for the universal struggle against increasing fuel prices.

So, I did a little digging around. The 'Patronus Charm' requires the use of a wand and the incantation "Expecto Patronum,"; which of course is Latin.

"Expecto" meaning 'expensive' and "Patronum" being 'Petroleum'; and so each time a Demontor is defended against, so the price of crude oil goes up by $27.57 a barrel.

Now, I know what you're thinking

"Surely it's acceptable, a small price to pay for the protection against dementors"

Perhaps, readers, perhaps...but consider that next time you're filling up your car for the equivalent amount of a mortgage payment.

** The patronus spell is actually derived from the Latin: "Patronus" meaning legal protector. It is related to "pater" (father) and Harry's patronus indeed takes the same form as that of his father's (a stag). But that isn't anywhere near as funny, and hardly provides me any material for such a satirical blog, so I'm sticking to my version

The Storm

It's 3:30am, and Ashley touches my shoulder

"Can you pass me your alarm clock? The power's out, and I'll set it so we still wake up"

I have a battery alarm clock, and the power had indeed been knocked out by the storm. While we weren't exactly prepared for this, but little did we know, it was merely the tip of the iceberg.

I leaned over, and handed Ashley the alarm clock; there was then the biggest clap of thunder I have ever heard, and a sound similar to that of a frieght train.

The bedroom window then exploded.

Now Ashley, she sleeps rather cold, and therefore had the covers over her (especially lucky as she sleeps closest to the window); I on the other hand, sleep very warm, and without cover (and frankly, anything else), got a good peppering on my side.

Thankfully, no pieces were large enough, or seemingly, sharp enough, to actually do any real damage. But, I say without shame, it was the most scared I have ever been in my entire life.

Once rational thought had returned to our minds, we headed straight for the bathroom.

It was only a few minutes later, when the storm had past (or at least the worst of it). The rain was still coming down, and the lightning lit up the room like a thousand strobe lights.

I got the 'safest' clothes I could think of (thick) and put chunky boots on (I wasn't sure what I would find outside); gave one of our emergency radios to Ashley and set outside with the other, and our trusty LED flashlights (seriously, if you don't have one, get one).

Keeping in contact with Ashley was paramount, as she needed to know I was ok, I needed to know she was ok; and I didn't know whether I would find lots of glass laying around outside, or lots of bodies. Were we hit worst, or were we the lucky ones?

I made the rounds around the entire apartment complex, not much activity to speak of, but the damage to the covered parking was immediately evident



The metal roofs, peeled back like the lid of a can of tuna left the 'covered' vehicles exposed to the elements



Being that my main concern were other people rather than their cars, I didn't pay much more attention other than checking some of the vehicles to ensure no one was in them.

From the side of our apartment, you can see two of our windows. The top being our bedroom, and the lower is our dining room. You can see where the projectile has punctured the window, and continued on to slice through the blinds on the other side.



This is what the dining room looks like from the inside



I continued my way around the complex, still undisturbed by anyone else. Around the East and South sides of the complex, most of the buildings seemed undisturbed, making me think that this really was an isolated weather event (which lends support to the tornado theory over strong winds).

One thing that really caught my eye as I was walking around, is the car that now had it's own chimney!



While I'm not sure whether Ford will be considering releasing this as standard on future 'Focus' models, as this one seemed to have it's share of design faults.

It was at this point, that I was able to see several flash lights, and verified rather fast that 'our' side seemed to have been hit the worst with the flying projectiles, and most everyone else was just experiencing leaking problems.

We had our fair share in the kitchen, but the water was a less of a concern to us than the glass that had found it's way to every corner of our house.

We cleared glass from all over, but it was as Ashley was sweeping up glass from the back wall of our our kitchen, some 26 feet from the window that had blown in, that we started to grasp the force that had been responsible.

Checking on our bedroom window, you can see almost the exact point of entry



...and what is the offending projectile you're wondering, I'm sure.



This roofing felt/tile from the apartment complex 200 feet over was found not only littering the entire apartment complex, but also our entire house. Pieces as large as 10" x 12" were pushed through our windows.

As for what snapped the trees up and down our street?



Yeah, strong winds...whatever.

There continues a debate as to whether this was officially a tornado. Authorities are studying footage to establish whether the damage was linear or tornadic. I don't know if this is to satisfy public curiosity, or in attempt to explain why the tornado sirens weren't sounded...I dare say we'll soon find out.

For now, Ashley and I remain alive and safe. We're all cleaned up now, and although we continue (and dare we will for some time) to find glass on the floor, we have new glass in the windows, and it all feels like a lifetime ago.

*** These photos were all taken after everyone had been confirmed as safe, alive and well

Lightening the load

One of the things Ashley and I resolved to a while ago, is that we simply can't take all of our stuff with us when we go. Primarily, for 'space' issues, but almost as equally important, cost concerns.

We're currently looking at about $4,000 USD (that's about £2,000 GBP in old money or €2,500 Euros in new), so keeping the shipping container light and compact is of the up most importance.

So we've set about offloading our least most desired possessions into the welcoming hands of 'Craigslist' trawlers and the even more welcoming arms of 'freecyclers'. Reception to our coveted goods have been mixed, with some emails received offering little more than an insult.

That said, one lady, drove an hour, paying exactly what we asked, for a computer chair. Whether this was a sign of her dire need of a computer chair, or our marketing skills...or perhaps just good fortune shining down upon us; she actually ended up taking another chair with her (for a bargain price I hasten to add!).

All in all, it gives one cause to take a step back and asses a house full of memories versus a building full of cheap 'stuff'. One man's junk is another man's treasure, as it were (or vice-versa as the case may be).

What value can be placed on these items? Apparently not one that is too high, or people just won't 'bite'.

Now, of course, you COULD go a buy comparable items from your local Walmart and/or Target...but THOSE weren't once owned by me!

This is apparently where I, and Joe Public, part ways in our thinking. One of us feels it increases the value, the other adamantly disagrees.

Red Arrows axed from 2012 London Olympics citing, they're "too British"

The world-famous Red Arrows have been banned from appearing at the 2012 London Olympics because they are deemed 'too British'.

Organisers of the event say that the Arrows military background might be 'offensive' to other countries taking part in the Games.

The display team have performed at more than 4000 events worldwide, but the Department of Culture, Media and Sport have deemed the display team 'too militaristically British'.

Red Arrows pilots were said to be 'outraged', as they had hoped to put on a truly world class display for the Games, something which had never been seen before.
Being axed from a British-based event for being 'too British' is an insult - the Arrows are a symbol of Britain.

The Red Arrows have been excellent ambassadors for British overseas trade, as they display their British-built Hawk aircraft all over the world.

The Arrows performed a short flypast in 2005 when the winning bid was announced, but their flypast at the Games was to have been truly spectacular.

It is to be hoped that common sense prevails, so if you disagree with this decision, please sign the petition on the link.

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/RedArrows2012/?ref=redArrows2012

...and it's goodbye from me, and it's goodbye from him

"Your application has been approved and the visa has been
issued"

...notification from the Foreign & Commonwealth Office today. Just a quick note to everyone to let you know that Ashley's VISA has been approved, so it's official...we're definitely going.

Thanks to everyone for their support, it's been a long journey (and it's not over yet!).

James & Ashley

Direct TV

"That's not a problem sir, you can cancel your account for free, if you're moving to an area we do not service"

...Direct TV's response to my concern around signing a 2 year commitment with them, as I knew we would be moving to the UK within that term.

So I thought we were safe, I thought we would be able to have decent satellite service until our departure.....I thought they were telling the truth.

That was about 8 months ago. Since then we canceled our High Definition (HD) service, and in the process of unplugging the HD box (and sitting it to one side to await Direct TV's shipping return box), none of it works anymore. Calling Direct TV reveals that although we lease the receivers, we in actual fact own...yes own...the satellite and all the cabling.

Which means that providing that the receiver powers on, the problem must lie elsewhere (and thus with our equipment), so an engineer to come fix my now defunct satellite would be $99. I can of course reduce this fee by signing up for their protection plan (quel surprise) which would then cost me $20 for the engineer and $5 a month for the continued protection.

Now at this time, I explain (yet again) to the customer 'service' (and I use the term loosely) representative that I'm moving in June, and I may as well just cancel it at that time as I can do so for free.

"Well, there's not a lot of places we don't service...all you
need is a view of the Southern sky"

I'm told in a disdainful tone

"Would that be the Southern sky viewable from the United
Kingdom?"

I thought not.

So, I resolve to the fact that I will indeed not have decent satellite service until our departure, but frankly am not willing to spend a single penny on having this problem resolved when it is so very clearly their fault (yes, I really am that stubborn).

So, it's getting kind of close to the move date and I think it's about time to start getting our ducks in a row; so I call Direct TV and ask...

"What exactly do you need from me, for us to cancel our
service?"

I of course have to explain the whole story yet again (as, heaven forbid they should actually write any of this down) to 3 different people; and then...then I find out what they need from me to cancel my service...

"$212"

I won't include the entirety of the story, but you can probably imagine roughly how it went. Bottom line; it's not true. Direct TV has no option to cancel your service for free (with the exception of military overseas deployment). I am told repeatedly, that there is nothing they can do, and there is nothing I can do.

This is not a new policy, it has always been the policy; I WAS LIED TO...TWICE!

Now, here's the little cherry for the top of this crap-sundae. The HD receiver that was put to one side to await Direct TV's return shipping box...it's still there. We never received the box; so Direct TV have now charged us $240 for the receiver having not been returned.

So another query to our friends at customer [dis]service reveals that the box was indeed shipped to us, minus our apartment number, so it was rejected. They knew this, it was recorded in there web-of-lies...I mean their logging system...but they did nothing (except wait until the time had elapsed and then charge $240).

So, trying to be as patient as possible, a now frustrated Ashley attempts to have the charge removed as this is so very obviously their mistake.

"The only way to have the charge removed, is to return the
equipment to us"

So, bottom line...we have to pay the $240, and they'll return it when we return the box. No real act of remorse, or attempt to rectify the situation, all we're told, over and over again, quite frankly, in the same disdainful tone...

"Well, I'm sorry about that, but there's nothing I can
do"

Which roughly translates as something a long the lines of...

"Look, it's not my fault, and if you'd bothered to read the
plethora of posts, blogs and forums about Direct TV on the Internet you would
have been expecting this"

I can't honestly find the words to describe how disappointed, offended and annoyed I am at the abundance of poor service and misrepresentation Direct TV have thrown upon Ashley and me; my mind is restored only by Ashley's calming influence and the overwhelming excitement (and growing daily) of returning to a country that has a better understanding of customer service...and no Direct TV.

I would implore anyone thinking of going with Direct TV to think long and hard. Please, do your research, read up on them (good and bad)...(the latter is surprisingly easier)...but if you want this humble guy's opinion...run...run away....run away now.

Buyer beware.

James

A chapter ends, but the book is yet to be written

This is the story of how I came to understand my faith, began to understand what it meant to have God in my life and how I began to let go of a great deal of anger surrounding my Dad's death.

If you haven't read it, go ahead and do so now (click the word 'This' and it will take you there). It's not the most elequantly written piece, but it's honest and heart felt.

I really thought that was it, I really felt like I'd done my bit; it was over now, I'd taken the great leap into the realm of 'faith', God would leave me alone now, right?

I mean, as long as a talk to Him occasionally, and do nice things to other people, He wouldn't have a need to talk to me, right?

Well, I think most people know now; Ashley and I are moving back to the UK. Some of you might not know (and actually, probably don't care, but it's happening in June). Not the most interesting of months, it's my birthday, it's Ashley's birthday...but it was only a few weeks ago, where June's significance was brought front and centre again.

You see, if you've read the above, you'll know. June is when 'it' all happened. June 2001, my Dad passes away; June 2006 (to the day), I make the apparent leap into unknown terretories. And 2008 is no different.

We've been planning to buy Ashley's ticket for a while now, but we've been waiting for my company to confirm certain things. We keep an eye on the aa.com website for availability, but we're buying with air miles, so we're not too worried about the price.

However, we check a few weeks ago, and there's only two days available in which we can use our miles. June 5th, or June 11th. As we'd originally planned to go June 25th, I say "well, June 11th is closer, so let's book it".

June 11th...June 11th, why is June 11th significant in my mind. Well, some 2 years...TO THE DAY...since the apparent moment of acceptance. Some 7 years to the day since my Dad dying.

I have few things of which I'm certain in life, but there's a couple of things which I no doubt.

There was a reason why I was brought to America, there was a reason why I was brought to Texas. God wanted me here so I would listen, and He blessed with a union that has filled my life beyond words.

I return to England with a renewed passion for God, and a eternal love for Ashley; for she is who God chose for me.

Give me some sugar, baby!

Ashley and I decided that between now and June (2008), we would not consume any refined sugars. This means no cakes, buns, cookies (see below), chocolate (see below), soda, candy etc. etc.

There are some allowances. For example, any natural sugars are allowed (fruits). Honey is ok, as is Splenda (sugar replacement). Recently added to our 'we can have it' list is Maltitol (a sugar alcohol). The Splenda allows us to make sugar-free cookies (swap out your butter for margarine too), and the Maltitol allows us to consume (small quantities of) sugar-free chocolate.

Now, the problem with sugar-free chocolate is (and I had to do some research on this), consumed in any large amount, sugar-free chocolate will act in a similar fashion to...a diarrheic.

"Why?" you ask? Well, the process is really quite simple. The sugar alcohol is not absorbed (as much as sugar) by your body, thus it makes it's way down to your intestine. When there, it begins to ferment; the fermentation process attracts water...and so, the affect is produced.

Now, you do have to consume a fair amount of sugar-free chocolate (or specifically, Maltitol; but you should be aware of this before pigging out of the (surprisingly) delicious chocolate, candy and peanut butter cups.

It should also be noted that the bars we buy are also trans-fat free, low sodium and rather tasty. The fact that they are sugar-free should not encourage you to eat any more, but as with all great things in life.....in moderation.

I'm off to enjoy the sweet life ;)

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe, that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.' So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them

You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day

James vs Ashley

1. Who eats more?
He says: I do
She says: James

2. Who said "I love you" first?
He says: She did
She says: I did

3.How long have you been together?
He says: I agree with Ashley's answer
She says: Married for 6 months, together for almost a year

4. Who sings better?
He says: I like it when we sing together
She says: James does

5. Who's older?:
He says: I am
She says: James is older

6. Who's smarter?
He says: I don't think either of us is smarter
She says: James is MUCH smarter than me

7. Whose temper is worse?
He says: Ashley's
She says: mine

8. Who does the laundry?
He says: We both do, I probably do it more though
She says: James has been doing laundry here recently.

9. Who does the dishes?:
He says: We both do, I think Ashley does it more
She says: We both do

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?:
He says: If you're in the bed, it's Ashley
She says: If you're looking at the bed, it's James

11. Who snores?:
He says: I do
She says: James does.

12. Whose hair is longer?:
He says: Ashley's is
She says: Mine

13. Who's better with the computer?:
He says: I can probably do more with a computer than Ashley can, but we're both good at it
She says: James is most definitely

14. Do you have pets?:
He says: Fish
She says: Fish

16. Who cooks dinner?:
He says: We both do, but Ashley does occasionally
She says: James, mostly

17. Who drives when you are together?:
He says: Me
She says: James does, my driving scares him

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
He says: Mostly me, but the account is joint
She says: He does

19. Who is the most stubborn?:
He says: Pretty even
She says: About the same

20. Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
He says: I would approach her first after we had disagreed (it's just easier that way) :)
She says: James does

21. Whose parents do you see more?:
He says: Ashley's, my Mum lives on the other side of the country
She says: Mine only because she lives close

22. Who named your pet?
He says: They're fish, I don't think they have names
She says: They don't have names

23. Who kissed who first?
He says: I kissed her first
She says: He kissed me

24. Who asked who out?:
He says: I never thought for a second that she would actually go out with me, but I dropped plenty of hints
She says: I asked him out

26. Who's more sensitive?
He says: Me
She says: James

27. Who's taller?:
He says: Me, not by much though
She says: James is

28. Who has more friends?
He says: I think I probably have more friends
She says: James does

29. Who has more siblings?:
He says: She does
She says: I do, I have 6 half brothers

30. Who wears the pants in the relationship?:
He says: We share the responsibilities
She says: I think we share that

31.Who's more sexy?:
He says: Ashley
She says: James

One step closer

So I just had a call from my boss, he was calling to give an update on some of the requests we had submitted in order to assist us with our move.

Basically, we need to travel to Houston, Texas, to be interviewed for Ashley's VISA; we need to pay for said VISA; we need my ticket home (we'd used Air Miles to buy Ashley's); we need to ship all our stuff home...and some other fun stuff. All of this will be in the ball park of about $5,000.

When he called, he said that he didn't have any problem paying for our travel to Houston, he'll also pay for my ticket and he doesn't see any problem (at least in principle) covering the shipping. I'll be honest, the shipping was our biggest concern as it accounts for the majority of the estimated fees (approximately $4,000); we really needed the help with that.

This is awesome news, and although it isn't answering all of the concerns, it's looking promising, and we got some of the stuff addressed.

We can go ahead and make the final reservations now, and start the application process.

We're one step closer, to coming home; and I'm really starting to get excited!

Why females should avoid a girl's night out after they are married

Why females should avoid a girl's night out after they are married....If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor. 

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. 

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

(Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!) 

The next morning my husband ask ed me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... He didn 't seem pissed off in the least.

Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.' 

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.'  Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.

Cute kid story

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears andlet them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David's comment.

Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart. "Listen", she said.

........."What do you suppose that is?" He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap - tap - tapping deep in his chest.

Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, "Is that Jesus knocking?"

'cos I'm leaving on a jet plane, I know that I won't be back again...

...at least for a while.

For those that don't know, Ashley and I have decided to move back to the UK. The decision is a combination of things relating to money, life style, opportunity...all sorts.

We've been working towards making Ashley's VISA application, but we finally took the decision to book Ashley's flight to the UK. The price increases we've seen, in line with seat availability means that it really made a lot of sense to go ahead and book that now.

So we're booked, and raring to go.

We have a request in with my company to cover some of the costs for our travel (shipping). And we're trying to cover the rest as best we can (never easy, is it).

I'm really looking forward to getting back actually, over time you realise that you miss a little more than you first care to admit, and sometimes it's going home that brings that to the front of your mind.

We're currently planning on getting back just before Alan & Lucy's big day, and we'll be settling in the North East at least until we get a little more settled.

We'll be looking to 'bye' everyone, but in case we miss seeing some people over the next few months, don't be offended ;)